Former English skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is definitely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his immediate welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition worsens.
"Maybe that's shock or maybe I process things in another way, and after I have the information, it's easier," he stated further.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a set of scans showed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're understandably very emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't sense sick. I don't sense poorly
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be competent to doing all activities. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Disease Progression
MND can advance rapidly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the condition kills a 33% of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of identification, as swallowing and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There is no treatment and that is why you have to be very strongly directed on just welcoming and savoring all aspects now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very lucky that the sole decision I made when I left playing was to devote as much time with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Player Association
Top-level athletes are disproportionately affected by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the condition is up to 600% elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the O2 available and creating damage to nerve cells, frequent, intense training can trigger the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a training equipment and commenced participating in tackles.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial moment of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning field goal.
Assistance Community
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a few other former players about his diagnosis, but the rest will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the present, just having that kind of love and recognition that people are present is all that matters," he said.
"The sport is such a wonderful group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your love your career, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will desire to assist in whatever way they can and I await having those talks."
