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When reports emerged that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it thrust substance use disorder back into the public spotlight. However, families grappling with a loved one’s addiction are concerned the discussion will center on an extremely uncommon act of homicide rather than the far more common risks of the condition.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the developments. They only knew the Reiners by their work, yet they identify deeply: their own son also became addicted at 15 to opioids and later heroin, much like Nick Reiner, and spent years in and out of rehabilitation and jail. After a long and painful struggle, their son achieved sobriety in July 2010.

“It’s just devastating,” states Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the illness of addiction.”

The Scope of the Crisis

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through their own use, a family member’s addiction, housing instability from addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to hospitalization or loss, according to recent data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or 48.4 million people, were living with a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how rich you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how influential you are,” emphasized Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a family disease,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is worried that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg noted.

These “are really crucial discussions to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really a threat and the potential for harming others.”

She also advised against making assumptions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is not known whether substance use or psychological distress were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their stigmatization of addiction and this condition, and create a narrative to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may increase aggression, a brutal act like a double homicide is exceptionally rare.

“The huge majority of people with addiction or substance use disorder do not ever show anything even approaching to aggression. It’s a true anomaly,” the expert explained. “The statistical truth is a person is far more probable to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not of their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he returns to using, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting limits and sometimes making the “horribly painful” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you went to sleep, that you could get that call or that knock on the door telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, every day of the year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the ER saying a son was unconscious; from prison, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction stemmed from some mistake they made; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and worrying about the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be perfectly happy one day and miserable the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

Hope and Recovery

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to achieve recovery.

“Just as you can get over any other type of disease, you can overcome this disease, too. You can heal and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you fail, you get up and try again.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a college degree, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can drag him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t grasp my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always told him they cared for him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll take it and take it.”